As a survivor navigating your options, you may be learning a whole new language of law, policy, and psychology. In this section we will highlight the most important terms.

Warning: The following pages contain definitions that can be triggering or hard to read. Feel free to skip this section altogether or come back at a later time.

Survivor/Victim

Many advocates tend to use the term “victim” when referring to someone who has recently been affected by sexual violence; when discussing a particular crime; or when referring to aspects of the criminal justice system. “Survivor” is often used to refer to someone who is further along in their healing journey, or when discussing the short- or long-term effects of sexual violence. Some people identify as a victim, while others prefer the term survivor. You can choose whatever term feels right to you.

Affirmative Consent

Consent means giving and receiving permission to participate in a sexual activity. Before being sexual with someone, you need to know if they want to be sexual with you too. Ideally, consent is a clear “yes” spoken out loud.

Consent must be continuously given. Consenting to one type of activity does not mean that your partner has consented to other activities. Everyone has the right to stop sexual activity at any time and for any reason. Consent is about making sure that everyone who is a part of the activity is excited, engaged, and able to say “yes” or “no,” every single time.

No one should feel pressured, manipulated, or threatened to say “yes.” Someone who is mentally or physically incapacitated or impaired because they are sleeping, unconscious, or under the influence of drugs or alcohol is not able to give consent. Additionally, someone might be unable to give consent because of their age or their mental capacity. For more information about consent and Minnesota law visit the Rape and Incest National Network (RAINN): rainn.org/laws-your-state-minnesota

Sexual Violence

Without consent, any sexual activity (including oral sex, genital touching, and vaginal or anal penetration) is sexual violence.

Sexual violence includes sexual assault, rape, or any other sexual behavior that happens because one person forces, coerces, manipulates or intimidates the other person.

Sexual violence can be perpetrated by strangers, acquaintances, family members, spouses, or dating partners. It includes being touched by someone else or being forced or coerced to touch someone else. Sexual violence can also happen when someone is not able to give consent because they are too young or incapacitated.

Sexual violence includes but is not limited to:

• Sexual abuse of power: when someone like a coach, teacher, or religious leader uses their position of authority to force, coerce, or manipulate someone into sexual activity,
• Intimate partner sexual violence: when a spouse or partner uses sexual violence,
• Child sexual abuse,
• Incest or sexual abuse of family members,
• Reproductive coercion and safer-sex sabotage: when one partner controls or interferes with decision-making related to reproductive and sexual health. This includes damaging birth control, pressuring someone to have unprotected sex, or removing a condom without consent (sometimes called “stealthing”),
• Sex trafficking and commercial sexual exploitation: when someone requires the other person to trade sex for money, food, a place to stay, or drugs or forces them to participate in pornography or stripping, and
• Non-consensual explicit images: when someone takes or releases explicit photos or videos without permission, sometimes called “revenge porn.”

For more information about sexual violence visit RAINN: rainn.org/types-sexual-violence

Relationship or Domestic Violence

Relationship violence – also known as domestic violence or dating violence – is a pattern of behavior that is used by a current or former intimate partner to gain and maintain power and control over the other partner. It can happen when people are married, living together, dating, or after the relationship has ended.

Relationship violence can happen to people that have gone on a single date, just started dating, or have been together for years.

Relationship violence may include the use of physical violence, sexual violence, threats and intimidation, isolation, emotional abuse, spiritual and cultural abuse, economic deprivation, and financial abuse. Someone can seek help no matter what type or types of abuse they have experienced.

For more information about relationship violence visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline: thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/

Stalking

Stalking is behavior that is directed at someone that is unwanted, unwelcome, or unreciprocated that causes them fear or substantial emotional distress.

Stalking includes behaviors like following someone, tracking someone, sending unwanted gifts or messages, making unwanted calls, damaging property, monitoring phone and technology use, or posting information or spreading rumors about someone.

For more information about stalking visit RAINN: rainn.org/articles/stalking

Sexual Harassment

Sexual harassment is unwanted and unwelcome sexual behavior that interferes with someone’s right to feel comfortable at school or work. It can include comments, notes, messages, gestures, or physical contact. It makes the learning or working environment hostile and uncomfortable. This includes repeatedly asking someone on a date, especially if they have already said “no.”

One specific type of harassment is known as “quid pro quo” when someone with authority trades or tries to trade sexual contact for something the other person wants like a good grade or preferential treatment.

For more information about stalking visit RAINN: rainn.org/articles/sexual-harassment

You Deserve to Be Safe and Respected Survivor Guide

You have many options after an assault or incident. You do not have to decide right away and it is okay if you decide you do not want to take any of the options in this section. You can choose as many or as few actions as you want.

Confidentiality

Confidentiality is the legal and ethical duty medical professionals, advocates, counselors, and therapists must keep any information you share with them private. They also cannot tell anyone whether or not you are their client/patient.

You can make a report to the college and request confidentiality and ask to not have the complaint pursued. However, there may be times that the school is legally required to investigate and respond. If that happens the school will inform you of what is happening.

Exceptions to Confidentiality

All of the confidential resources have some limits on their confidentiality. They are legally required to make a report to the proper authorities if you tell them about a child or vulnerable person who is being harmed, or if you make specific, serious threats to harm yourself or someone else.

Privileged Communication

In addition to being confidential, your conversations with some of these professionals may also be considered “privileged communication.” This means that they cannot be forced to disclose information about you or what you discussed, even by a judge. Communication with advocates, medical professionals, and licensed mental health providers is considered privileged.

Mandated Reporting of Sexual and Relationship Violence

Most staff and faculty on campus are not confidential and are required by law to report violence to the Title IX office. The college is required to create a report for state and federal governments disclosing violence affecting students. This report does not include any personally identifiable information.

In certain situations, the college may also need to issue a warning to everyone on campus of a potential threat. The victim’s identity will be protected.

Confidential resources may maintain your complete confidentiality, offering you options and advice without any obligation to tell anyone, unless you want them to.

Medical Care

Care for physical health or injuries and infection/ pregnancy prevention available at local hospital emergency departments. Ask for a forensic exam. You don’t need to report to police to get medical care.

• Regions Hospital: 651.254.3456
• St. Joseph's Hospital: 651.232.3000
• United Hospital: 651.241.800

Advocacy

Confidential advocates are available to talk, safety plan, and offer resources 24 hours a day, every day. SOS advocates offer 1-1 advocacy on campus by appointment.

• SOS Sexual Violence Services: 651.266.1000
• SPIP (Domestic Violence): 651.645.2824
• Minnesota Day One (Domestic Violence): 1.866.223.1111
• Rape & Incest National Network (RAINN): 1.800.656.4673

Mental Health and Personal Counseling and On Campus

Free confidential mental health and counseling services are available to all students. Students are able to explore personal or academic concerns and receive referrals. Services are available throughout the year.

For more information on mental health and personal counseling services or to make an online self-referral visit: cgicalendars.com/StudentServices/Counseling.

Reporting resources are available if you want to report crimes and policy violations. When you make a report, the individual or agency is required to take action. If you choose to report what happened to you to the College or to the police, you should know that the College and the police investigate and make decisions separately. An advocate from SOS or SPIP can help you navigate these processes

Local Police

Call 9-1-1 in an emergency.

Advocates from SOS or staff from Saint Paul College are available to assist in talking to police on request.

• Saint Paul Police: 651.291.1111
• Minneapolis Police: 612.348.2345
• Ramsey County Sherriff: 651.266.9333

Campus Public Safety

651.846.1322 | Room 1355 | psafety@cgicalendars.com

Officers from Campus Safety respond to campus incidents and can take action to help keep you safe.

Title IX Office

Mike Gerold: 651.846.1327; Room 1401B

The Title IX Office investigates conduct violations and determine academic accommodations that can help you succeed as you heal.

Online Anonymous Reporting

If you want the college to know what happened but aren’t sure you want to come forward, you can report it online anonymously. cgicalendars.com/FileAReport

Free, confidential drop-in in-person survivor support services is available on campus. Advocates from SOS Sexual Violence Services (651.266.1000 or email asksos@ramseycounty.us) and SPIP Domestic Violence Intervention (651.645.2824) are available to meet with students. Drop-in advocacy is an opportunity to meet with a trained advocate, make plans for your safety, process what happened, prepare a protective order, discuss reporting, receive referrals to housing and financial support, and explore your options. Advocates can also assist you in supporting a friend experiencing violence. Support is available to students of all genders. Follow Student Life on Instagram for program updates.

Whether your relationship is casual or serious, it’s important to feel respected, safe, and heard. The components below are indications that your relationship is healthy.

FREEDOM - You might spend a lot of time with your partner, but you also need your space. Both partners should be able to have their own hobbies, likes, and outside friends. Always be yourself and know that you have the right to be free!

FAIRNESS - Relationships shouldn’t be one-sided. Each person should be willing to compromise and listen to the other person's thoughts and needs. When it comes to opinions, both of yours matter.

BOUNDARIES - Each person has a right to decide what they are okay with in a relationship. This includes physical stuff, how often you talk to your partner, and whether you share your social media passwords. If you don’t like when your partner texts and calls too much or doesn’t give you alone time, you have the right to speak up!

TRUST & SUPPORT - Being able to rely on your partner helps you feel safe and secure in the relationship. It’s about knowing someone has your back and best intentions at heart. You expect your partner to be honest and they don’t let you down.

OPEN COMMUNICATION - Communication is a huge part of all relationships. Being able to express how you feel and taking time to listen to the other person is important and essential.

Remember, healthy relationships take skills and practice. If you are struggling in your own relationships or want to talk to an expert on how to improve your relationship skills seek out the Counseling Department.

Healthy Relationship Skills

You can help stop relationship or sexual violence or stalking. When something is not right it is essential for members of the community to intervene. Risky situations and harassment can escalate quickly so it is helpful to plan some strategies. If you have a plan, you will know what to do when something happens.

Identifying Risky Situations

We know that it can be hard to know how and when to intervene. It might feel awkward or strange to intervene but being prepared will help you take action when the time comes.

How can I tell someone needs me to intervene?

• They look like they are uncomfortable or are shifting positions,
• They are ignoring the other person but the other person is not going away,
• They have already said “no” or tried to end the conversation,
• They are trying to move away but their path is blocked,
• They are asleep, passed out, or too intoxicated to care for themselves,
• You feel like the situation is not okay – trust your instincts!
• What else can you think of?

Options for intervening

With the strategies of direct, distract, delegate, delay, and document you can choose an option that works for you.

Direct
You can talk directly to the person causing harm so they know their actions are not okay. Assess your safety first. Speak up about the harassment or risky situation. Be firm and clear. You can also talk to the victim about what is going on. Ask: “Are you okay? Should I get help? Should we get out of here?”

Distract
You can interrupt harmful actions or words before they escalate by causing a distraction. You might start a conversation with the victim or find another way to draw attention away from them. Ask them for directions or the time, or drop something.

Delegate
You can gather resources and support people to address the situation. Find someone in a position of authority—like a bus driver, a Public Safety Officer, instructor, or store manager, or a community leader—and ask them for help. Check in with the victim. If you think calling the police is the best option, ask the victim if they want you to call before you do.

Delay
You can check-in with the victim afterward because sometimes waiting is safest. You might say: “Are you okay? Can I sit with you? Can I accompany you somewhere? What do you need?”

Document
You can document the situation so there is evidence of what happened. It can be helpful for the victim to have a video of the incident or notes about what happened. Always ask the victim what they want to do with the footage and never post it online or use it without their permission.

I Intervene

It is not always easy to know what to say when someone tells you they have been a victim of violence or harassment, especially if they are a friend or family member. Telling someone they care about can be very difficult, so we encourage you to be as supportive and non-judgmental as possible.

Sometimes support means providing resources, such as how to reach advocates, seek medical attention, or report the crime to the police or the campus. But usually listening is the best way to support a survivor.

What Should I Say?

If someone shares their experience of sexual or relationship violence, stalking, or sexual harassment with you it can be difficult to know what to say. The suggestions below can help:

“I believe you.” Sharing their experience can be challenging and many survivors are concerned that they will not be believed or worried they will be blamed. The best thing you can do is to let them know that you believe them. Everyone responds to traumatic events differently so their reaction may be unexpected to you but that does not mean their story is not true.

“It is not your fault.” Survivors may blame themselves, especially if they know the perpetrator personally. Remind the survivor, maybe even more than once, that they are not to blame.

“You are not alone.” Let the survivor know that you are there for them and willing to listen to their story if they are comfortable sharing it. Assess if there are people in their life they feel comfortable going to, and remind them that there are service providers who will be able to support them as they heal from the experience.

“I am sorry this happened.” Acknowledge that the experience has affected their life. Phrases like “This must be really tough for you,” and, “I am so glad you are sharing this with me,” help to communicate empathy.

PROVIDING CONTINUED SUPPORT

Every survivor heals in a different way. If someone trusted you enough to disclose to you, consider the following ways to show your continued support.

Avoid judgment. It can be difficult to watch a survivor struggle with the effects of violence or harassment for an extended period of time. Avoid phrases that suggest they are taking too long to recover.

Check in periodically. The event may have happened a long time ago, but that does not mean the pain is gone. Check in with the survivor to remind them you still care about their well-being and believe their story.

Know your resources. You are a strong supporter, but that does not mean you are equipped to manage someone else’s health. Become familiar with resources you can recommend to a survivor like the ones listed above. If the survivor seeks medical attention or plans to report, offer to be there. Your presence can offer the support they need.

If someone you care about is considering suicide please visit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or call 1.800.273.TALK (8255) any time, day or night.

Supporting a Survivor

Almost all college employees (including student employees) are mandated by federal and state law and must report if anyone discloses (talks about, shares, reveals) an experience of sexual violence, relationship violence, sexual harassment, or stalking. Only counseling staff are confidential resources and not required to report.

Responding to a Disclosure

When someone discloses sexual violence it can be hard to know how to support them, especially as a mandated reporter. The “Supporting a Survivor” guide above offers many resources but it can be hard to balance a survivor’s request for privacy and your statutory requirements as a college employee. If you sense that a student is about to disclose an incident that you would be required to report, it is important gently let them know upfront that you will need to report what they have told you with the college early in the conversation so they can make an informed decision on how much or how little they want to share. You can and should reassure them you will not share what they told you with anyone outside of that report.

After they have shared with you, please let them know that the following information:

• The Title IX Office may be reaching out to them to offer resources, information, and support,
• Unless the College is worried about the immediate safety of the campus community at large the College will not do anything (like start an investigation, tell anyone including their parents, make a police report for them, etc.) without their permission,
• They have access to confidential resources both on- and off-campus.

Making a Report

The Director of Public Safety, Public Safety Officers, and the Title IX Coordinator are immediate resources and partners for you if you have questions about the welfare or behavior of a student.

You can make a report to by contacting any of the designated individuals in-person, by phone, or by email. Please include all relevant details that person told you, including the name(s) of the person(s) involved, their relationship with the person who told you, and the date, time, and location of the incident.

Department of Public Safety:
Office 1355, 651.846.1322, psafety@cgicalendars.com

Title IX Coordinator, Mike Gerold:
Office 1401B, 651.846.1327, titleix@cgicalendars.com

Vice President of Diversity, Equity & Inclusion, Wendy Roberson:
Administration Office, 651.846.1757, diversity@cgicalendars.com

You may also make an online report here: cgicalendars.com/fileareport.

Supporting Student Survivors in the Classroom

Many students at Saint Paul College are survivors of trauma and faculty can be an essential part of their healing process. The following suggestions can help student survivors be more successful in the classroom and engage with their learning more fully.

• Provide a written overview in the syllabus of your responsibilities as a non-confidential resource on campus, along with an explanation of what that means for students. You can share confidential and other resources, as well.
• Clearly label in the syllabus which (if any) readings, assignments, projects, or discussions will touch on the subject of sexual violence or related sensitive topics.
• Offer a straightforward disclaimer around your expectations for the course. For example:

  Aspects of this course may be emotionally difficult, and learning about violence is always challenging. You may personally connect with or be affected by some of the material covered in this course, so I urge you to identify a support system outside of this class. I am happy to meet with you to discuss any concerns or accommodation needs, but I also encourage you to seek out confidential or other resources.

• Make classroom expectations of respect explicit. If someone discloses during a class session, remind the students of that expectation. Tell students that the learning or insights they gain in class should leave the classroom, but the shared expectation is that any personal details that are shared should not.
• If your course content involves continuous or deep engagement with sensitive topics, create ways for students to engage in private or opt-in ways like private writing reflection rather than class discussion.

Remember that each survivor’s experience is unique, so each survivor will have different topics they find difficult to engage with or hear and talk about but being proactive and understanding will help survivors feel supported.

If you would like to explore other strategies please contact the Gender-Based Violence Prevention Coordinator, Jess Cheney (651.846.1566, prevention@cgicalendars.com).

Bringing the Anti-Violence Support and Education Program into the Classroom

If you are interested in exploring ways to integrate awareness of the realities of violence, knowledge of consent and healthy relationship behavior, or training on bystander intervention skills into your classroom the Saint Paul College Program for Anti-Violence Support and Education is available to support you. Some possible topics include:

• Sexual and Relationship Violence Awareness: This brief 15-minute session provides a basic overview of facts surrounding sexual and relationship violence, information about campus policies and resources, and introduces key concepts for promoting a culture of safety and respect on and off campus.
• Healthy Relationships: What makes an intimate relationship positive and worthwhile? In this presentation, students discuss key components of healthy relationships and explore ways to advocate for themselves and support their friends and loved ones in maintaining safe and respectful relationships. Partners: Saint Paul Intervention Project and Women’s Advocates.
• Neurobiology of Trauma: What happens to the brain in traumatic situations like sexual assault? Based on the neurobiological research of Dr. Rebecca Campbell students will learn about the autonomic stress response and its impact on memory encoding and recall, gain understanding of the neurochemistry that can create seemingly unexpected reactions to trauma, and develop strategies assisting individuals who have experienced trauma. Partner: Regions Hospital Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) program.
• Sexual and/or Relationship Violence 101 for Professional Settings: Specialized trainings for students in healthcare careers, ASL language and interpreting, or criminal justice fields. Partnering with experts in the field, students learn about the impact of violence on their work setting, workplace specific red flags and safety concerns, and strategies for assisting victims in a professional role. Partners: SOS Sexual Violence Services , Saint Paul Intervention Project, Regions Hospital, ThinkSelf Minnesota Deaf Adult Education & Advocacy, and Standpoint Legal Advocacy. Other workplace areas are available upon request.
• Bystander Intervention: What should students do if they see a peer or community member being harassed or have concerns that someone is in danger of sexual violence, relationship violence, or stalking? In this session, participants learn to recognize warning signs and practice skills they can use to discourage, deter, and de-escalate various behaviors that can lead to violence.
• Bystander Intervention for Professional and Trade Students: Students who will enter the workforce in technical, health sciences, wellness, or services fields have unique opportunities to intervene in the lives of clients. Whether working in a client’s home, providing care, or developing long-term one-on-one relationships with clients, these students may be the first to identify signs of violence or stalking. In this session participants learn to recognize warning signs specific to their professional role and practice skills they can use keep the community safer. This offering is always adapted to meet the specific professional role of the students.
• Embracing Challenging Topics in Curriculum: Maybe material in your classroom may already touches on sexual or relationship violence or maybe you are interested in integrating a book, article, or topic that examines to violence. The Saint Paul College Program for Anti-Violence Support and Education is able to be a resource as you develop lesson plans or offer support in the classroom.

All topics can be modified to fit time constraints (from 30 minutes to multiple class sessions). Please contact please contact the Gender-Based Violence Prevention Coordinator, Jess Cheney (651.846.1566, prevention@cgicalendars.com) to plan a presentation or collaboration.

Sexual violence is an intolerable intrusion into the most personal and private rights of an individual, and is prohibited at Saint Paul College. Saint Paul College is committed to eliminating sexual violence in all forms and will take appropriate remedial action against any individual found responsible for acts in violation of this policy. Acts of sexual violence may also constitute violations of criminal or civil law, or other Minnesota State Colleges and Universities Board of Trustees Policies that may require separate proceedings. To further its commitment against sexual violence, Saint Paul College provides reporting options, internal mechanisms for dispute resolution, and prevention training or other related services as appropriate.

BOARD POLICY 1B.3 SEXUAL VIOLENCE POLICY

• You Deserve to Be Safe and Respected Survivor Guide
• Supporting a Survivor
• Healthy Relationship Skills
• I Intervene
• Consent Cafe